Eulogy for a dipshit.
Tolerance in itself is meaningless.
I cannot praise you for enduring me or by showing restraint in your prejudice. I cannot praise you for not being an asshole by turning your interaction with ideas you don't agree with into your small dopamine vehicle. You tread the line between being pleased with yourself and being full of yourself.
You're so good, you're better than people like me. Because I am just an example of them. You are engaging with me, unlike me. I'm just hysterically spewing poorly digested propaganda at you. At least you are aware of my talking points and, with some quick adjustments, you can at least attempt to align and correct my viewpoints. You engage with opposing viewpoints because that's the mature thing to do.
Unlike me.
Right?
Ya condescending piece of shit?
Do you assume that my beliefs actively attack and erode whatever institutions you believe in, or is it more a thing about me having a set of beliefs that don't reinforce yours?
Is not agreeing with you as dangerous for me as the things you actually agree with?
Do I owe you consistency? Do I need you to respect me?
Holy shit: are you even capable of acting in good faith?
Not agreeing with you puts me in a list of people you feel entitled to berate. Agreeing with you allows you to keep a list of people to berate.
I lean towards a more progressive world, a kinder world. We live in a hostile universe, life is short, and we all try to withstand a portion of this violence so that others don't have to, because others have done so for us.
You want groups of people ostracized, enslaved or dead.
Do you see the fucking difference in tone here?
Do you see why I spit at your tolerance?
Do you see why I cannot return this supposed favor I never asked?
Things remain independent because of conviction or because they fail to find any kind of sponsorship. Your āindependentā fucking thinking is cruelty hidden in rhetoric.
And by that I don't imply that I am offended (whatever the fuck that might mean to youā¦) by your ideas and the way you spread them. By that I say, not imply, that you're intellectually dishonest, and probably less cerebral than you want to think. It is cruelty hidden in rhetoric.
It is an emotional expression of your discontent, worked backwards into a collection of facts arranged into an unfalsifiable argument that supports your biases.
Whatever might be admirable or agreeable about you is not enough to put up with your bullshit. No matter how commendable your achievements, or the extents you're willing to go to protect your lies from scrutiny: you have always been unpleasant to be around.
It was hard to put into words back then, but I think I got it:
You use people and give little to nothing back. Once again: because you're such a good boy, a smart boy. You think the world owes you. And I hate that in myself so much that I find it abhorrent in others.
You are a little machine that makes really damn good arguments, but you have to wonder why it comes so easy to you. My theory: you got really good at justifying things because you can't afford to be caught lying. Because you lie a lot. Compulsively. And you have to keep track of your lies, and compose them in ways laymen like myself cannot immediately dissect them.
You're scummy. There's a shitty halo of awkward contempt and excessive self-praise that has gotten worse throughout the years.
Even if you were better fit to endure life, I would hate to live longer by virtue of being someone like you.
Whatever you do to distract yourself from the fact that the mirror will always show your face, man, I hope it's potent enough.